Nobody likes a whinger but have you considered your own tendencies to complain and criticise? Cultivating gratitude might be the remedy.
We’ve all met the whinger – the person who finds fault in everything and everyone.
It seems there's no way to satisfy or pacify these personality types. They’re bored. They're tired. It's too hot, too cold, too much, too slow, too hard!
What's more, whingers like spreading their pessimism and will often seek opportunities to recruit others to reinforce their negative worldview.
Most of us wouldn't see ourselves as whingers but being negative is an easy habit to fall into.
Sure, we’d like faster, better service. Sure, the queues could be shorter.
But a tendency to be overly critical fosters undesirable mood states that can leave us feeling edgy, angry, and sad.
Cultivating gratitude
The remedy? No one can say for sure, but cultivating an attitude of gratefulness may be a tonic for becoming more conscious of our unearned gifts and privileges.
Freedom from oppression, clean drinking water, electricity, education, and democracy – these are just a handful of the entitlements enjoyed in western societies.
How often do we pause to consider that billions of people across the world don’t enjoy these privileges?
Certainly, past thinkers such as Aquinas, Einstein, Shakespeare and Kant have spoken about the place of gratitude in enriching our lives.
Today, research suggests that practicing gratitude and appreciation are among the habits of happy people. In addition to helping us to feel happy, fostering gratitude has a string of other benefits:
- Feeling more connected (less lonely)
- Stronger immune system
- Improved emotional equilibrium
- Better sleep
- Increased energy
- More confidence in ourselves
- Deeper relaxation
- We’re more attractive to others
- Increased creativity
Practising gratitude
While practicing gratitude appears to have a range of physical, social and emotional benefits, some writers argue that we need to convert gratefulness into real action to discover “an embodied understanding” of this affirming life attitude.
That is, we need to demonstrate gratitude, not just talk about it.
Here’s five ways to start practising gratitude:
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Notice your day-to-day world from a point of gratitude and acknowledge the goodness you take for granted. The video “A Good Day” from TEDxSF might help to put you in the right frame of mind.
- Keep a gratitude journal. All it requires is noting one or more things you are grateful for on a daily basis.
- Give at least one compliment daily – for example, your workmate’s new outfit or newhair cut
- When you find yourself in a challenging situation ask: What can I learn? When I look back on this, without emotion, what will I be grateful for?
- Make a commitment to not complain, criticise, or gossip for ten days. If you slip, don’t despair – keep going. Notice the amount of energy you were spending on negative thoughts and actions.
References available on request