Sound like a chapter title from a 1950s guide on ‘how to be a good wife’? Not quite the idea. ‘Becoming more interesting’ is about creating great rapport with people and having fun conversations. It’s about opening yourself up to different experiences, too.
At the 2012 Happiness and its Causes Conference (yes, I went to every session – as readers of this blog may have discerned!), men’s issues blogger Sam de Brito chose the topic: boosting self-esteem and scoring a date.
What I took from his talk were tips for thinking outside the box when you’re socialising.
This’ll make you more interesting and more attractive in my book.
1. Say yes to things you’re scared of
If you lack confidence, attempt to do little (or big!) things that stretch your comfort zone.
2. Ask questions of people at parties or functions.
Especially if you’re feeling uncomfortable. “Most of us listen with intent,” says de Brito. “We wait to jump in. It’s incredible to just listen and sit back, because being truly listened to is a fabulous feeling. This leads the conversation in a way that’s pleasurable for the other person.”
3. Have a few conversational aces up your sleeve
There are some topics that unite everyone and immediately get people talking. Quirky things like ‘déjà vu’, ‘signature dishes’ and ‘the worst present I ever received’ are ones to test out.
4. Try out your yarn-spinning skills
“Being able to tell a good story is essential for holding a crowd. Practice it,” says de Brito. “It’s another way of being socially dexterous.” You’ll get to know what works from the way people react. Being a little animated always helps… if you start to sound like Steve Urwin though – you’ve gone too far!
What makes you feel chilled in social settings? Do you have a ‘conversational ace card’? I live in the Northern Territory, and lemme tell you – everyone up here loves a croc story! The subject always gets people talking.